Domestic Bliss @ shazzerspeak.blog-city.com

Halmstad trip recap, Twitter-style

Shazzer — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 08:49:00 GMT

Here's a preview of the themes I'll be expanding on when I write about our weekend with my Swedish in-laws. These little nuggets have been lifted directly from my Twitter timeline (although I have taken the liberty of corrected a few typos).

Saturday, July 26

Have I mentioned how much I hate riding the train on weekends? Between the drunk Danes and small children, I hate it ALOT.

Of course the fact that I'm surrounded by people who are in various stages of deodorant failure is not helping matters.

Drowning out the drunk Danes on the train with Barack Obama's speech in Berlin. Have I mentioned how much I love my iPod Nano?

Based on the Caipirinha I was just served, my sister-in-law really needs the "1001 Cocktails" book we just gave her 4 her b-day.

Remarkably, my Swedish proficiency seems to improve with every glass of wine consumed!

My Swedish in-laws are very impressed that I just got an SMS from Barack Obama (via twitter).

Backyard trampoline + small children + alcohol = potentially hazardous fun. Happy to report that all survived.

Sunday, July 27

Listening to churchbells ring in Halmstad while installing Skype on my mother-in-law's computer. Key question: will she ever use it?

My mother-in-law is a lovely woman, but her coffee SUCKS.

About to board a boat with my mobile phone in my pocket. Danger Will Robinson! Danger Will Robinson!

My 2-year-old niece is NOT digging the boat ride and is on the verge of ruining it for everyone else. Ouch.

Survived Sweden's most boring harbour tour (Halmstad) with a screaming 2-year-old. I deserve combat pay today.

No 2nd class seats available for the first leg home, so we're riding to Båstad in style. Will probably have to stand from there to H-borg.

On our way home and the drunken Danes have been replaced by crying babies and standing-room-only conditions. I hate weekend trains.

Train is teaming with hung-over metal heads returning from last night's Iron Maiden concert in Gothenburg. Great mix w/crying babies!

4 bikes, 3 prams, 2 wheelchairs, a huge set of golf clubs and massive amounts of luggage mean we'll pay for reserved seats next trip.

SCORE!

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

Swedish wet blanket

Shazzer — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 20:29:00 GMT

“Some days you’re not so much “the wind beneath my wings” as you are the vacuum that sucks it right out of my sails.”

- Me, to Dr. Darling*, who didn’t really “get” the reference.

Original Entry

*Dr. Darling wants me to add a little context to this quote so that my mother-in-law doesn't read the entry and conclude that we're breaking up. So here's the (boring) story:

Earlier today, I saw a TV ad for a "greatest hits" CD by a Swedish artist we both enjoy. This is roughly the full conversation that followed:

"Honey, we need to get Patrik Isaksson's Greatest Hits CD!"

"We've already got most of those songs on other CDs."

"We don't have "Innan Klockan Slår" or "Under Mitt Tunna Skinn."

"But if we buy the CDs with those songs on them, we'll get a lot more music for our money."

"Why do you always have to be so practical?"

"I'm Swedish."

"You know, some days you're not so much "the wind beneath my wings" as you are the vacuum that sucks it right out of my sails."

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

Salad wars

Shazzer — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 21:32:00 GMT

Shazzer (viewing a TV ad for canned corn): Who the hell puts corn in a salad?
Dr. Darling: Oh I think it's fairly common.
Shazzer: I NEVER put corn in a salad.
Dr. Darling: I've noticed.
Shazzer: Are you saying that you've spent the last six years eating my salads and thinking that the corn was missing?
Dr. Darling: Pretty much.
Shazzer: Maybe you'd like to take over the salad-making for the next six, then?
Dr. Darling: I don't miss the corn THAT much.

Original Entry

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

Historic day in every way

Shazzer — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 07:03:00 GMT

Congratulations to ALL couples "taking the plunge" in California today.

Sign the Human Rights Campaign's "Million for Marriage" petition here.

Original Entry

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

My own personal Hitchcock film...

Shazzer — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 06:26:00 GMT

For the past several weeks Dr. Darling and I have suspected that a family of seagulls was nesting on the roof of our building directly above our bedroom window.

Normally, I love the seagulls that swoop around The Penthouse-Nordic…they’re a constant reminder of how close we live to the Öresund. But the charm has worn off from weeks of being screeched awake at dawn, which occurs earlier and earlier with each passing day here in the land of the fast-approaching midnight sun. And because the bedroom window is actually built into the slope of the roof, it sometimes sounds as though the gulls are actually IN the room with us.

Today we figured out why. The baby gulls, which up to this point were purely hypothetical, have gotten big enough to leave the nest and have taken up residence on the large ledge directly outside our bedroom window, where their Mom swoops in on a regular basis with food. We hadn’t noticed them before because of the blackout blinds attached to the inside of the window frames.

Naturally Momma gull got a little freaked out when she realized there were people on the other side of the blacked-out window, so we had to be very stealth about peeking out at them, photographing them, and checking on them during a passing thunderstorm. I now feel kind of guilty for being ready to lay strichnyne for them.

I just hope I can remember how cute those speckled seagull chicks are when their Mom delivers breakfast at 4:00 tomorrow morning.

Mobile post sent by Shazzer using Utterz. Replies.

Original Entry

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

Why doesn't this surprise me?

Shazzer — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 09:51:00 GMT

A growing body of evidence shows that same-sex couples have a great deal to teach everyone else about marriage and relationships.

Same-Sex Couples Offer Insight Into Gender and Marriage - NYTimes.com

Original Entry

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

Where the air is 70-proof

Shazzer — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 14:23:00 GMT

Scandlines Border Shop, Puttgarden, Germany

We marked Sweden’s National Day (June 6) by partaking in that most Scandinavian of rituals…we took a ferry to Germany to buy booze. And I feel pretty confident that 90% of the passengers on the ferry we doing the exact same thing. And of that 90%, at least half were Swedes.

This is because most Scandinavian countries tax the hell out of alcohol. Norway ithe worst offender, followed by Sweden and then Denmark, which why Norwegians flock to Swedish liquor stores along the border, Swedes in the far south of the country buy the bulk of their spirits in Denmark, and Danes (along with bargain hunting southern Swedes) go to Germany.

Because this trip is such big business for the ferry line, it offers a special fare for travellers who return to Denmark within 3 hours of arriving in Germany. This gives you just enough time to blow major dough at the aptly named Border Shop (conveniently owned by the ferry line), which is basically four floors of every kind of alcohol imagineable.

As it was a holiday weekend in both Sweden and Denmark, the Border Shop was even more of a zoo than usual (according to my in-laws, who make the trip anually). People were coming out of the store with multiple shopping carts stacked high with booze. We felt like total novices for leaving with just a single case of Australian white wine, 1 3-litre box of Italian white wine, 2 bottles of Dooley’s Toffee vodka (so we could get a free set of 6 round-bottomed rolly glasses), 2 bottles of coconut rum (1 Malibu, 1 Bacardi), a litre of Bombay Sapphire gin, and a litre of Absolut Citron. It was the most alcohol we’ve ever purchased in one go save for Dr. Darling’s dissertation party in 2003, and ours was probably the smallest transaction the Border Shop has handled all year.

Now the challenge will be not to drink it all before this interminable family trip is over on Sunday.

Mobile post sent by Shazzer using Utterz. Replies.

Original Entry

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

To be or not to be, in Denmark

Shazzer — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 10:47:00 GMT

Kronborg Castle, Helsingör, Denmark

So as we boarded the ferry in Helsingborg yesterday, my step-mother-in-law suddenly remembered that June 5th was a national holiday in Denmark and most businesses would be closed…including liquor stores. ACK! Calm was restored following an emergency booze purchase on the boat’s duty-free shop.

Once in Denmark my father-in-law was eager to demonstrate the GPS system we’d gotten him for his birthday, but he had trouble getting the geo-positioning settings switched over from Sweden, and it didn’t help that he was trying to do it while driving. Fortunately Dr. Darling stepped in before he steered us into the sea and got the Danish maps loaded.

Of course Ola wanted to demonstrate all of his new toy’s features, so the audible driving directions were activated. I soon learned that the only thing more annoying than listening to an automated GPS voice when you’re not driving is listening to one that speaks Swedish better than you do.

Our ‘holiday house’ at Lalandia is actually very nice, but the waterpark…which is supposedly the area’s main attraction…was nothing special and even prompted the Swede to ask, ‘Is this it?’ Ithen reminded Dr. D of the recent survey that showed Danes to be the happiest population in the world, due in large part to them having very low expectations. And suddenly the hype surrounding Lalandia made perfect sense.

Mobile post sent by Shazzer using Utterz. Replies.

Original Entry

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

Denmark, this could be dangerous...

Shazzer — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 05:52:00 GMT

Well Gang, it appears that Dr. Darling and I are about 95% packed for a long holiday weekend trip with the extended family that begins tomorrow. The holiday is Sweden’s National Day (June 6) and the extended family is my father-in-law and his wife, my brother-in-law and his wife, and their two kids, ages 2 and 4. And no, the irony of celebrating Sweden’s National Day in Denmark is not lost on me…suffice it to say that I did not pick the dates or the destination.

And while I do like my in-laws and we have stayed in their homes on numerous occasions, we have never all travelled together. And we’ve certainly never shared accomodations, which in this case is a holiday house that allegedly sleeps 8 despite being the same size as our apartment (about 1,100 sq. feet)…which only sleeps four including the person who gets stuck with the livingroom couch.

So if you’re the religious type, please join me in prayer that the Danish Meteorological Institute is correct in forecasting great weather for the remainder of the week. Because the only thing worse than waiting out rain showers in a small Danish holiday house with no TV and no internet connection would be waiting out rain showers with two small children who don’t have their usual collection of toys to occupy them.

I’m leaving the iBook at home (see lack of internet connection above) but I do intend to moblog, Twitter (if the site is up) and potentially Brightkite (location-based social networking servicel I'm playing around with) the adventure from my trusty Sony Ericsson P1i. Wish me luck…

Mobile post sent by Shazzer using Utterz. Replies.

Original Entry

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

When the cat's away...the mice eat sushi!

Shazzer — Sun, 04 May 2008 05:43:00 GMT

Dr. Darling’s Mom is down for the weekend and the two of them made a rather spur-of-the-moment decision this morning to go to Copenhagen. I’m still dealing with the remnants of the Spring Cold from Hell and decided to pass on the excursion. I’m also in the midst of proofreading a doctoral thesis for a Lund University engineer and needed to spend some time on that.

But the weather was just too beautiful to be indoors all afternoon (and the sun was too bright to see the iBook screen on the balcony). So instead of working, I ran errands, sampled my favorite Alpha Geek ’s latest espresso blend (in addition to being our "go-to guy" for all things computer-related, Sonny's an amateur barista), and then rendezvoused with some friends for a spicy tuna inside-out fix.

Usually Dr. D’s absence (the D also stands for ‘disdainful of fish’) is the only excuse I need to hit a sushi bar, but today I reasoned that I actually needed the wasabi…you know, for medicinal purposes. My sinuses are clear for the first time in a week!

Mobile post sent by Shazzer using Utterz. Replies.

Original Entry

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

From the Domestic Goddess Dept.

Shazzer — Sat, 03 May 2008 20:54:00 GMT

According to LiveScience.com:

Men Create More Housework for Women

So then why is it that The Penthouse-Nordic usually looks like a dump unless we’re expecting company?

Original Entry

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

Healthy spousal rebellion

Shazzer — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:38:00 GMT

Dr. Darling spent part of the past weekend up at her brother’s house in Halmstad for a big gathering of their cousins, which means I got to be on my own for about 28 hours from Saturday to Sunday. (Not that I was counting or anything.)

I opted out of the festivities primarily because I haven’t seen any of the cousins since losing my eye, and I just wasn’t up to answering a lot of questions about it…nor the inevitable discussion about the ongoing cancer-watch…especially in Swedish.

So I stayed in Malmö and did what I always do when the Swede is out-of-town: eat sushi. Twenty pieces to be exact, and it was heavenly!

I also took the opportunity to wear my newest hat, a cotton flatcap (aka newsboy-, ivy- or driving cap) that I should have purchased in Scotland had Dr. Darling not talked me out of it. The cap looks exactly like the picture below except that it’s black.

I’ve always had a bit of a thing for caps and my collection has grown quite a bit since moving to Sweden where the weather is nearly always conducive to wearing one no matter what the season.

I originally found this little beauty in Edinburgh, at an H&M store of all places. It was inexpensive and looked incredibly cute on my head, and besides that I loved the irony of purchasing a very English-looking cap from a Swedish retailer in Scotland. But because Dr. Darling HATED it, I didn’t buy it…something I regretted (and mentioned several times) after returning home.

So the weekend before last we were out running errands and happened to pass an H&M, and which point the Swede looked at me and said, “You wanna go in and see if they have that hat, don’t you?”

The following conversation ensued:

Me: “Of course I do, but I bet they don’t have it. That style would be kind of unusual here, and besides, I just couldn’t be that lucky.”

Dr. D: “Well, I’ll bet you they do have it, but if I win the bet, then you can’t buy it.”

Me: “So you’re saying that if I win the bet…meaning they don’t have it…I’m allowed to buy it?”

Dr. D: “Exactly.”

Me: “How much of an idiot do you think I am?! Don’t answer that question!!!”

We laughed all the way to the men’s department where lo and behold, they actually had the cap. There was only one black one left in my size so of course I HAD TO GET IT no matter how much the Swede despised it.

Dr. D’s shoulders hung in mock resignation as I marched up to the sales clerk and paid for it. I did, however, make one concession: that I would never wear it in her presence*, which is why I had it on most of this past weekend.

*We’ll see how long THAT lasts.

Original Entry

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

"Too drunk to wok"

Shazzer — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 18:31:00 GMT

I met a few former colleagues for a drink after work last night while Dr. Darling chose to stay home and get dinner started, a beef stir-fry.

I called the Penthouse-Nordic as I left the bar and the following conversation ensued...as far as I can remember.

Shazzer: Honey, I'm too drunk to wok.

Dr. Darling: You're too drunk to walk? You've only been gone an hour, how much did you have?!

Shazzer: No, I'm too drunk to stand over a wok and toss water chestnuts in hot oil with one eye.

Dr. Darling: Well, I've already started working on the veggies.

Shazzer: And I only had one cider, Cheeky Monkey! But on an empty stomach, that's all it takes. I'm starving! How far along are you with the veg?

Dr. Darling: Well, ummmm...I've taken them out of the fridge.

Shazzer: Why am I not surprised? Put them back and just start the rice. We're going with Plan B.

Dr. Darling: Which is?

Shazzer: Something that doesn't involve sharp knives or sizzling hot oil. Did I mention the one-eye thing?

Dr. Darling: Yes, you did. I'll see you when you get here. Walk carefully.

Shazzer: I thought we just decided that we weren't going to wok?

Dr. Darling: Shut up.

Shazzer: I love you, too, Sweetie!

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

Large majority of Swedes want to allow gay marriage

Shazzer — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 11:45:00 GMT

Large majority of Swedes want to allow gay marriage

In reality, it’s probably the main reason I live here.

Original Entry

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

Ask a stupid question...

Shazzer — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 06:29:00 GMT

Shazzer: How is that we did laundry four days ago and there are six pairs of your underwear in the load I washed tonight?

Dr. Darling: I had on a pair of new ones Monday morning, and then I remembered that I didn't want to work in them.

Shazzer: Okay, that would account for one extra pair.

Dr. Darling: The other ones were ripped off me while having sex with my lover.

Shazzer: Oh really? Then why isn't she washing them?

Original Entry

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

One-on-One Weekend

Shazzer — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 14:54:00 GMT

Given that I've been off work recovering from surgery for the last two and a-half weeks, you'd think that Saturday and Sunday would not be particularly distinguishable from the other days of the week. Except, of course, for the fact that Dr. Darling is home all day. And in the case of this weekend, that we are company-free for the first time in a month.

The Swede celebrated us having The Penthouse-Nordic all to ourselves by spending the whole of Saturday morning stretched out on the couch in front of a movie wearing nothing but underpants.

I love that outfit.

The weather was fairly decent yesterday afternoon (meaning it wasn't raining) so we attempted to do a little Christmas shopping. Evidently EVERYONE else in the city had the exact same idea because the shopping district was a complete zoo. I've never been crazy about crowds and it seems I like them even less now that I have the mother of all blind-spots on my right-hand side.

Fortunately Dr. Darling is developing into a very thoughtful and diligent wingman...even when fully dressed!

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

New House Rule: No kebab after 8 p.m.!

Shazzer — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 12:05:00 GMT

Dr. Darling and I figure we managed to get about 7 hours of sleep between us last night, and while we have NO shortage of reasons to be awake worrying in the wee hours of the night, that was not the issue for either of us this time.

No, I think we were both undone by a late supper of kebab, also known as Sweden's most reliably delicious fast food. One of Malmö's BEST kebab shops happens to be just around the corner from The Penthouse-Nordic, so it's fair to call kebab a staple in our diet. But every time we eat it, we both wake up in the middle of the night absolutely parched. And last night, after getting up separately to guzzle something cold from the fridge (and it must be cold...tap water just doesn't cut late-night, kebab-induced thirst), neither one of us ever really went back to sleep.

I think part of the problem was that we ate at what was for us a relatively late hour (for a weeknight). Copenhagen's Ph.D postal carrier has been putting in killer hours this week courtesy of a Tivoli Christmas brochure that's being sent to virtually every local who's visited the city's most famous amusement park since 2002. So when she didn't get home until 7:30 p.m., there was no way I was going to start cooking supper.

By the time we tucked into our kebabs (mine with extra garlic sauce) it was 8 p.m., and bedtime was a mere two hours away. I woke up thirsty at 1:30 a.m., and then was awake again when Dr. Darling got up for a drink an hour later. I tossed and turned until 3:00, when I moved out to the livingroom couch and turned on the TV. By 4 a.m. I was definitely drowsy, and I figure I had been dozing for about 40 minutes when the Swede's alarm went off at 5:15.

So I think it's safe to say I'm only vertical but for the grace of strong Swedish coffee. And I sure could use a nap!

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

I hate it when a goofy blog quiz is accurate

Shazzer — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 19:07:00 GMT

What time of day are you?

You Are Midnight

You are more than a little eccentric, and you're apt to keep very unusual habits. Whether you're a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle.

Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it.

You enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean you're a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

What Time Of Day Are You?

Dr. Darling got this result:

You Are Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary. You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward.

Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts.

All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

What Time Of Day Are You?

Also fairly accurate, except for the part about cooking and buying gifts.

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

The delicate morning dance...

Shazzer — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 06:38:00 GMT

It's a pretty safe bet that few parts of a person's day are more finely choreographed than his/her morning routine. This is certainly true at the Penthouse-Nordic, where until recently the first alarm clock went off at 4:50 a.m. on weekdays. (In order for Dr. Darling to make a 5:42 a.m. train to Copenhagen.) This would be MY alarm clock...which wakes me gently to music...as opposed to the comatose Swede's alarm clock, which shatters both the the silence and the darkness of The Batcave with a combination of irritating beeps and flashing lights that increase in volume and intensity until she's conscious enough to turn it off.

Because waking up to that kind of racket every day would very quickly result in my incarceration for assault and battery (and because Dr. Darling is definitely NOT a "morning person"), I've been getting up to my clock radio and waking her with a nudge before making her lunch and heading to the gym (Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays) or into my office early (Tuesdays and Thursdays). Her annoying alarm clock has been used primarily as a back-up and is set to the absolute latest moment she can get out of bed and still make the train. Often she's up before it ever goes off, and even if she isn't, I'm already out in the kitchen when it does.

While not ideal, this routine has been working pretty well when you consider that the alternative is one of us sleeping in the guestroom/office on weeknights. But then one day last week the Swede decided to start making her own lunch the night before so that I could spend a little more time in the sack, which I really appreciated even though this would only be the case on Tuesdays and Thursdays (I'm committed to sticking to my M-W-F workouts). My clock radio was still going off at 4:50 a.m., but all I had to do was nudge her and hit the snooze bar a couple of times rather than leap out of bed to make sandwiches.

I was still adjusting to this system when the routine changed a second time. Last Friday afternoon, a new Metro station on Copenhagen's underground transport system opened for passenger use and it's having the pleasant effect of cutting about 15 minutes off Dr. Darling's commute. This means my clock radio can now be set for 5 a.m., and even though it's only a 10 minutes later, it just sounds so much better!

Well, the combination of these two developments (no more lunch detail and the new 5 a.m. wake-up time) got me to thinking about my Tuesday/Thursday routine. Because even though I go into my office early on those days, I don't have to be on the train until 6:34...which means I should be able to stay in bed until the luxurious hour of 5:45. It's a no-brainer, right?

Unfortunately, my brain checked out before I actually mentioning this brilliant plan to the Swede, though at that point I'd been thinking about it long enough to believe that we actually had talked about it. She was asleep by the time I got into bed on Monday night, so I missed a final opportunity to inform her. But since I knew her hounds-of-hell back-up alarm was set, I figured it was pretty safe to have my radio come on at the aforementioned 5:45 a.m.

BAD MOVE.

I caught the Swede totally off-guard by not waking her in the usual manner (have I mentioned that she is NOT a morning person?), and while she was up in plenty of time (before the bone-rattling alarm, even) she was clearly not happy with me. I tried to make up for it by getting up and making coffee, but I did so in a fog and crawled back into bed immediately after turning the brewer on. I'm sure my zombie-like demeanor was interpreted as ambivalence, which only served to piss her off even more. She actually left the apartment 10 minutes earlier than she needed to, because if I recall her comment correctly, she'd rather do that than stand around and watch me sleep. Ouch.

I'm still determined to stay in bed a little later on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, but I think I'll wait until next week to approach Dr. Darling with a new (and highly detailed) plan...the crux of which may or may not involve me sleeping in the guestroom/office on Monday and Wednesday nights.

Leave Comment

Related Entries:

A lovely day to fly...

Shazzer — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 19:35:00 GMT

Today marked the nicest weather we've seen in southern Sweden in the last two weeks...just in time for my mother to board a plane for the U.S. Typical.

She was a terribly good sport about it...especially when you consider that she had to spend part of yesterday (her last full day here) watching me jump through the hoops required to replace the contents of my Stockholm-snatched wallet. FUN!

Aside from the crappy weather, Dr. Darling not having any time off from work to play, getting pick-pocketted on our trip, and the little neighbor boy who has recently taken to peeing regularly in the basement stairwell of our building...we had a really wonderful visit.

But even though I'm planning to be in the U.S. for Christmas just a few months from now, it was still really tough to watch her head into the security checkpoint at Kastrup. Probably because I've done so many airport goodbyes with friends and family this summer...four of them since mid-May.

I was looking at the calendar earlier this evening and realized that we've had houseguests for more than six weeks of the last 3 and a-half months. I'm not sure the Swede and I even remember how to live together when it's just the two of us. On the other hand, we'll probably have a lot of fun figuring it out. ;^)

Leave Comment

Related Entries: